Depression symptoms aren’t always as obvious as frequent crying and overwhelming despair. “Oftentimes the changes are subtle, and the person may not notice, but their friends and loved ones may,” says Boadie W. Dunlop, MD, director of the mood and anxiety disorders program in the psychiatry department at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta. There’s no one pattern to depression, and the condition can vary in progression from person to person. Symptoms may gradually go from mild, such as choosing to stay home to watch TV instead of going out for a walk with a friend, to more severe, such as not even getting out of bed to shower or persistent thoughts of suicide. Others may quickly progress from their usual state to a severe depressive episode. “Depression symptoms are particularly troubling if someone displays more than one or if they persist for more than two weeks,” says Simon Rego, PsyD, an associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Albert Einstein College of Medicine and the chief psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, New York. RELATED: 9 Different Types of Depression To help you recognize depression that warrants concern, whether in yourself or a loved one, here are eight depression symptoms — some of which you might even find surprising — that you shouldn’t ignore.

The Next Step: Getting Help

If you notice any of these serious depression symptoms in yourself or someone you love, reach out and get help. In most people, even major depression is a very treatable disorder, with a wide range of medications and therapies that have been proven to work, according to the APA. RELATED: Black Mental Health: Fighting Stigma and Building Trust

If Your Loved One Has Symptoms

Encourage your loved one to seek professional help. If your loved one is considering harming themselves or having other dark thoughts, immediate treatment is critical. Go to the nearest emergency room or contact a local mental health provider. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 (TALK).Create a safe environment. “If the person expresses suicidal thoughts, remove any potentially lethal items from the home, such as guns,” Dr. Dunlop says.Be kind. “Blaming or chastising depressed people for feeling low or unmotivated is not helpful and typically serves to reinforce negative feelings they already have,” Dunlop says. “Instead, open the discussion in a nonjudgmental way and encourage the person to seek help.”Be willing to support treatment. Offer to help your loved one prepare a list of questions for a provider about depression or drive them to appointments.

If You’re Experiencing Symptoms

Recognize if you’re starting to slip. If you are struggling with new or worsening symptoms, don’t hesitate to seek help. If you already have a therapist, reach out to them right away. If you do not have one, call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for a free, confidential referral for treatment. If you’re considering harming yourself, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 (TALK).Ignore incorrect attitudes. The old idea of “pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps” is not only outdated, but also not based in science. “If you feel depressed, there is no cause for guilt,” says Dr. Solomon.

Depression Resources

Many organizations also have online resources for depression. These include:

National Institute of Mental HealthNational Alliance on Mental IllnessAPADepression and Bipolar Support AllianceADAA

Additional Reporting by Erica Patino